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Celebrate your dad with these funny and thoughtful Father's Day quotes. 1. "I think back to the day I drove Michelle and a newborn Malia home from the hospital nearly 13 years ago—crawling along.


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There are endless ways to tell Dad Happy Father's Day on June 18, but if the father figure in your life takes particular pride in his humor, then sharing one of these hilarious quotes will have.


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Funny Father's Day Quotes. 1. "When you're young, you think your dad is Superman. Then you grow up, and you realize he's just a regular guy who wears a cape.". - Dave Attell. 2. "I gave my father $100 and said, 'Buy yourself something that will make your life easier.'. So he went out and bought a present for my mother.".


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Celebrate Father's Day with a smile on your face and a chuckle in your heart with these cheerful and funny Happy Father's Day quotes. "There should be a children's song: 'If you're happy and you know it, keep it to yourself and let your dad sleep." - Jim Gaffigan. "When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant, I could hardly stand to.


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And you tell people, 'he's got four teeth,' like they care. 18. n our 6 am walk, my daughter asked where the moon goes each morning. I let her know it's in heaven, visiting daddy's freedom.


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ABC. QUOTE: "Stay away from Arkansas. They've outlawed all the fun stuff.". Fresh Off The Boat follows the Huang family, who move from Washington D.C.'s Chinatown to Orlando, Florida in.


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Funny Father's Day quotes. "The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.". — Steven Wright. "Being a father is the single greatest feeling on earth. Not including those wonderful years I spent without a child, of course.". — Ryan Reynolds. "A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top.


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Funny Father's Day Quotes from Movies and TV. "Dad… you were like a father to me.". "Dad, you've done a lot of great things, but you're a very old man, and old people are useless.". "Marriage is like a coffin, and each kid is another nail.". "I'm not loving anybody that I'm not legally required to.".


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These funny Father's Day quotes are a bit witty, silly, and totally relatable. This quote by Jimmy Kimmel is a great example: "I learn things from my kids constantly. Most of their knowledge comes from Snapple caps.". Others are those you can use to poke fun at your dad! Like this quote by Jerry Seinfeld: "You can tell what was the best.


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Funny Fathers Day Quotes 2022. These funny Fathers day quotes 2022 are SO funny, I just couldn't keep for laughing. Your dad is sure to love these! 1. I love how we don't need to say out loud that I am your favorite child. Happy Father's Day! 2. Dear Dad, for Father's Day I hope you enjoy this nice present that I bought with your money.


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The Best Funny Fathers Day Quotes. "Being a dad isn't just about eating a huge bag of gummy bears as your wife gives birth. It means being comfortable with the word hero." -Ryan Reynolds. "My sisters and I can still recite Dad's grilling rules: Rule No. 1: Dad is in charge. Rule No. 2: Repeat Rule No. 1." -Connie Schultz.


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RD.com. "I gave my father $100 and said, 'Buy yourself something that will make your life easier.'. So he went out and bought a present for my mother.". — Rita Rudner. Don't miss these.


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A Father carries pictures where his money used to be. Fatherhood is one of life's best reasons to need a little extra coffee. Happy Father's Day, Dad! Without me, today is just another day. (You're welcome!) Dad, may your Father's Day be better than your jokes. The older I get, the smarter my father seems to get.


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Happy fathers day husband funny quotes. Wishing my dear father always healthy, happier than "happy", money is higher than "money" and sad is shorter than "sad". Happy fathers day quotes funny. I promise you from now on I will be good and earn "pocket money" to pay you back, Dad! Jokes funny fathers day quotes.


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It's like washing dishes, but imagine if the dishes were your kids, so you really love the dishes.". - Chris Martin. 3. "The older I get, the smarter my father seems to get.". — Tim.


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These quotes are perfect for greeting cards and stepdad gifts: You're not my stepdad. You're my bonus dad. You're the best stepdad because you still chose to marry our mom, even after you met us. You can't scare me. I have stepkids. I'm crazy enough to be a stepdad and lucky enough to be your stepdad.